Today is the second anniversay of Heath Ledger's passing.
Last year, I wrote a song about him, one that I'm really proud of. This year, I'm hoping to see The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, his last work (and the fact that Johnny Depp is also in it is just icing on the cake).
When Heath was alive, I thought he was incredibly talented, but I honestly felt indifferent about him. I loved him in 10 Things I Hate About You and A Knight's Tale, but Johnny Depp has always been my number one. But I have to admit that instead of being the typical pretty boy actor, he did quirky things. In fact, he wanted to have Johnny Depp's career - he wanted to choose things, not based on how much money it would make, but because of a script.
The day he died, I was in the car with my ex-boyfriend and his mom, and they were taking me home. We were listening to KIIS FM, and when the announcement was made, I didn't believe it. I couldn't. When I got home, I immediately went on Perez Hilton and there, in black and white, was the truth. He had died.
The first thing I did was call my best friend Jessie. We weren't really talking then, due to said ex-boyfriend, but that didn't matter to me. When we were in middle school, we divided our men, as we called them. I had Johnny Depp and Billy Boyd while she had Orlando Bloom and Heath Ledger. In a way, we bonded over Heath Ledger, and through his death, we eventually managed to save our friendship and become best friends once more.
Then there was The Dark Knight. I, like everyone else, saw it for Heath Ledger's portrayal of The Joker. It was, by far, his best performance. I don't believe that the role killed him at all. And I believe he truly deserved his Oscar, his Golden Globe, and every other award he won postmortem. I don't care that he died when he won. He deserved them. He was already getting Oscar talk BEFORE he died. Just because he died shouldn't change anything.
I'm not sure how to explain how I feel about him because I never met him, I wasn't crazy about him when he was alive, and truly, I'm no one special. But I feel this connection to him now that he isn't there. I talk to him sometimes, and I like to think that somehow, he listens. I'm not sure why I feel this strongly about someone in death rather than life, but I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Currently, I have pictures of him hanging in my room. He's smiling in all of them - you know, that boyish, disarming smile - and it's bittersweet for me to look at them. But it always makes me smile. Actually, he always makes me smile.
It's definitely weird, being connected to someone I don't even know. But we're all connected in some way, aren't we, more so than with others?
And connections, especially strong ones, are always muses in disguise. Why do you think I'm constantly writing about Johnny Depp?
But this day belongs to Heath, and to commemorate him, here is a part of the song I wrote for him last year. It might not mean a lot, but it does so for me.
Heath likes to caress my face
With a delicate feather from his wings
And I try so hard to stay awake
Because I don’t want him to leave just yet
He whispers promises in my ear
And it sounds just like a bittersweet lullaby
He wipes the tears from my eyes
And disappears with the night