Saturday, September 15, 2012

The awkward guy friend: Does he or doesn't he?

We all have that guy friend we're not quite about: Does he or doesn't he like me?

I recently went through a situation like this (try: yesterday).  Back in summer, out of the blue, my old friend from high school asked to hang and catch up.  I hadn't seen him in years so we exchanged numbers and met up at a cafe and talked.  On my part, I wasn't feeling the chemistry.  Don't get me wrong: He's good looking, intelligent, and sweet, but it just wasn't there.

Throughout the week, he texts me wanting to hang out again.  I'm super-busy with friends and my new job.  I don't mean to continuously blow him off, but I simply don't have time for him and since I don't feel it, I'm not going to move things around to make room for him (don't I sound awful?). 

At one point, I think he gets the message since I finally agree to go out (but to a Starbucks close to my house for an hour instead of "somewhere quiet we can go to talk" or swing dancing), but then I get another text from him yesterday.  I'm the type of person who doesn't like to play games and I don't like coming off like a jerk because I keep claiming to be too busy to hang (even though that's true, for the most part).  So I decided to say something.

It's tricky to be a girl because even if you know a guy is interested in that way and you call him out on it, he can turn it around on you and claim he just wants to be friends and you're conceited for thinking otherwise.  So what I did say is something along the lines of: "I'm going to be blunt with you: I'm seeing someone and I'm really happy.  I'm not saying that was why you were hanging out in the first place but I just wanted to tell you where I'm at so there wouldn't be any miscommunication between us.  I still don't mind hanging out with you as just friends, however."

Guys usually appreciate the directness (and if they don't, you don't want to be around a spurned tool, so let him cool off and realize how lame he's being) but sometimes, they just don't get it.  Hawke texted back that he appreciated me telling him and that he wasn't hanging out with me for that reason, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't interested (um, what?).  He said that he was happy I was happy and would still like to hang out if it didn't make me and my guy uncomfortable.

Yeah... no.  I don't think so.

If you're not seeing someone - and this has happened to me when I haven't been - I always claim I'm too busy with school (or a job) to devote the time he deserves in a potential relationship and that isn't fair to him.


With the potential lockout looming tonight, I want to send one last prayer to the hockey gods:  Please.  Please.  Please.  Hockey is one of the few things I'm passionate about and this is the only year I can devote to season tickets.  I'm begging you: Please let there be a full season.  Please.  For Teemu's sake and my sanity.

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