Saturday, January 21, 2012

Taking fate into your own hands

Society's a pretty interesting thing, isn't it?  The double standards, the expectations, the social norms that are constantly changing...

This is for all the girls who have a guy they want to ask out (or are waiting for a guy to ask them out).  As you well know, I'm a big believer in signs.  In the universe.  In that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  In everything happens for a reason.

Since my April breakup with Goatboy, I've been very resistant to relationships.  Even now, I cannot picture myself ever getting married.  Not that I don't want to, I just can't picture it.  Yet.  I haven't met That Guy.  And really, I don't want to meet him yet.  I'm only 22.

However, I find myself wanting to date.  Casually.  Just for fun.  And I had a particular guy in mind that I wanted to take that chance with.  So I talked to fate, and I said, "Listen, if you give me this opportunity, if you put me in this position, I promise I won't waste it."

As we all know, the universe works in mysterious ways.  The guy turned out to have a girlfriend (or a date or a female friend, whatever signified that perhaps he wasn't looking to date anyone else at the moment) but at the event, I met someone else, someone I briefly interacted with in November.  We fell back into easy conversation, and before I knew it, I gave him my number.

In a way, I'm glad Guy #1 was taken (or seemingly taken).  Now I'm free to choose whoever I might find interesting enough to date.  I'm not tied down, and I refuse to wait for anyone.  I feel empowered, as though I can pick and choose which guys I want to hang out with and which guys I don't.

So girls: why not take fate into your own hands and ask a guy out?  You can make it really casual, like offering to be a tour guide to a new guy in town (that's the one I used), tell him, "Hey, I'd love to buy you a drink some time" (my  original line on Guy #1 - IF you're of age, of course), or, if you're not, "We should grab coffee some time."  As common sensical as it sounds, you don't have to be like, "Do you want to go out with me?"  It can be casual and fun and noncommittal, like, "We should hang out."  That way, you put the power in his hands.  If he wants to hang, he'll call/text/Facebook, whatever.  If not, so what?  The world is at your feet, with guys just waiting to hang out with you.

Go for it.  Don't wait around.  How else is the universe going to take what you want seriously if you don't think it's risky enough to take a chance on?

1 comment:

  1. Great for you! :D I've always been terrible at making first steps with guys, I need one who is at least a little forward. Dropping hints is as far as I go.

    Oh, wait, once I grew so frustrated and tired of waiting I blurted out something like, "I wish I could rape you!" :| (It was in a foreign language, so thankfully I didn't fully realize what I was saying, though I'd looked it up in the dictionary beforehand. *cough*)