Calling Myself A Writer

I started writing as soon as I could pick up a pencil.  I wrote poems and short stories and drew pictures.

I started writing seriously when I was 18, and finished my first novel.  Over 100,000 words, in fact.  From there, I wrote over 20 novel-length stories, querying agents here and there but nothing serious.

But I still never called myself a writer.

I don't work, so I would respond to an inquiry about a job saying, "Oh, I'm a student."

It wasn't because I didn't believe I wasn't a writer.  It was because unless you're a writer, you don't understand what it's like to BE a writer.

A couple of weeks ago, I was hanging out with a group of friends.  One of them commented on what a hard day at work she had - she works as a nurse at a private practice; you know, the one who comes in and takes your vitals - and asked, "Did any of you actually work today?"

Every one of my friends has a job.  Except me.  I know I'm lucky.  I don't have to work.  But I did have a long day that day - it took me four hours to revise four chapters of the novel I hope to one day publish.  That was when I actually really considered myself a writer.  And I told her as much.  She brushed off my statement and rolled her eyes before changing the subject.

Besides the fact that I was incredibly offended at the lack of seriousness she was providing my chosen career with especially considering she was supposed to be my best friend, I knew she didn't understand.  She couldn't.  She'll probably never write a book in her life.  She'll never finish one.  She'll never understand what it takes to create characters, a logical and compelling story, finish it, and then revise it.  Never understand how much blood, sweat, and tears go into a novel.  Never understand what it's like to have the patience to go over details to your story, wait for those agent responses.  Because she's not a writer.

I know what it's like to be a receptionist.  I worked at a movie theatre for 2 years back in high school, dealt with guests, answered phones, sold tickets, ushered, and was a concessionist.  I know it's exhausting, even if you're sitting down the entire time.  And I don't take any of that away from her.  The least she could do is support what I want to do, even if she can't understand it.

And that's another reason why I really don't claim to be a writer.  I'm not yet published - I don't even have an agent! - and therefore I'm not getting paid.  If I say I'm a writer, people do what my friend did; they humor me but don't take what I'm doing seriously.  Apparently, simply writing isn't a job, it's a hobby.

But that's okay.  I don't mind saying I'm just a student (even though, after that 4 hours, I considered myself a non-paying worker because seriously - 4 hours!) because I know that one day, I will be able to say I'm a writer.

And then, everyone will take me seriously.  For the most part.