Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Responsibility and other depressing aspects of adulthood

There are two major decisions that I've made this past year that are, what my parents have termed, as responsible.  The right decision.  Even though I wish I could have made the wrong one.

Now, I should probably clarify: I actually made these decisions myself.  My parents, my friends, nobody forced me to make one decision over the other.  I made these decisions, which means the consequences, the actions that subsequently followed my decisions, were of my own choosing and I can't blame anyone but myself.

These decisions, you ask?  Well, the first one has to do with my writing: a publishing house actually offered to publish my book.  Of course, I was ecstatic.  This was my dream come true.  My mother, of course, reminded me to do some research in the company, especially since they wanted me to buy author's copies.  I had never heard of an author buying copies of their own book, and they weren't paying me anything either to publish my book.  So I looked into it, and while the publishing house is legit, it's a pretty shady establishment.  And here's the thing:  I look at my publishing house like I look at a potential boyfriend.    I'd rather be alone than in a bad relationship just like I'd rather be unpublished than published by a bad publishing company.  It sucks, but I knew it was the right decision.

My second decision was even harder because I really, really wanted this: the Eminem concert.  I've literally been counting down the days and I've been waiting - waiting - to see him in concert.  I've loved the guy since fourth grade, right?  So when tickets went on sale for this KROQ festival with him headlining, I jumped on it and bought two tickets.  No, I thought that I had seats and that he would open the festival - at noon, like the tickets said.  Well, two days beforehand, I was looking up some information on it, and it turned out that no, Eminem wasn't coming on until 745 at night, there would be no seats - standing room only -and it's in Fontana, a place I've never been to before and was at least an hour away.  In order to ensure I get good standing, I'd have to get there early and listen to bands I really don't care about.  Seriously, once I saw Eminem, I'd be heading home.  By that time - at night - people would be drunk, pressing up against me, I'm not guaranteed a good spot, spilling their alcohol on me, in a place that I'm not familiar with...  As much as I love Eminem -and I would die defending him how amazing he is - it just wasn't worth it.  So I decided not to go. 

I knew I made the right decision both times because it felt right when I made them.  I wasn't sad - bummed, sure, but not sad - and I knew something better would come along.

Like building character.

Being responsible.

An adult. 

I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this.

Well, at least my twenty-first birthday party will have a Jack Sparrow  impersonator.

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