Resolutions of 2009

So here were last year's resolutions.  Let's see how much I've accomplished, shall we?  (And yes, tomorrow, I'll have new ones posted.)

Resolutions of 2009

1) Finish the three stories I have started.
Yup, accomplished that.  Actually, I totally did more than that.  In 2009, I finished not only those three stories, but a total of 14 stories.  So suck on that.

2) Write poems that total 230.
I didn't actually do that, but I came close.  In my poetry folder, I have a total of 211 poems.  Poems, to me, are more difficult to write than stories because the story is smaller and I don't want to say the same thing over and over again.  Plus, they're short, and I have to be in the mood to write poetry when I'm always writing stories.

3) Give up fast food.
Oh yeah, did that.  That was a lot easier than I ever expected.  Once I make my mind up about something, it's easy to just do it if I really want to.  And I really wanted to do that.  And I did.  I think I had McDonald's once, and it tasted so greasy, so salty, so gross after being without it for so long. 

4) Collect every Johnny Depp and Christian Bale movie.
Haha, no.  Um... I'm getting there, but once I get a job (Ha!) and have extra spending money.  But I'm kind of there.


5) See Public Enemies five times in theatres! (It would be a record if I did.)
Okay I saw it four and a half times.  So I was seriously close.  And I own the DVD.  So it still kind of counts.  A little.

So I was nearly more successful than I thought.  Not because I'm not disciplined, but because my mind is always changing.  But it was a good year.  I remember it quite vividly. 

And I can't wait until 2010.

And so the lists begin...

So at the end of every year, every magazine ever makes up some lists that deal with whatever genre the magazine is.  I really don't have a genre to myself, but you now how I love to make lists...

Sexiest Man Alive:  Johnny Depp.  Duh.  But let me go into why.  Personally, I am fascinated by his face - I particularly love his nose and cheekbones.  And his smile that lights up his face.  And his eyes you can simply drown in.  But besides all of that, he is completely and utterly talented, gracious with his fans, and most of all, humble.  He's sexy because he doesn't try to be sexy.  And I am irrevockably in love with him.

Sexiest Smart Guy:  John Cusack.  If you read some of his blogs on the Huffington Post, you can immediately feel his passion.  He knows what he's talking about things.  He has an impish grin and beautiful black eyes with matching hair I wouldn't mind running my fingers through.  Plus, he's my future husband.

Sexiest Action Star:  Christian Bale.  (He was totally blackballed from People's list, can you believe it?)  He proves that it's possible for a person in Hollywood to have both good looks and talent.  He does his own stunts (most of the time) and infuses depth in his characters.  And have you seen those arms?  Damn!

Sexiest Badass:  Clint Eastwood.

Sexiest Dancer:  Christopher Walken.

Sexiest Doctor:  Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House.

Sexiest Crime Fighter:  Mark Harmon as Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Sexiest Accent:  Gerard Butler.

Sexiest Bond:  Daniel Craig.

Sexiest Troublemaker:  Johnny Knoxville.

Sexiest Rapper:  Eminem.

Sexiest Double-Timer:  Joel McHale.

Sexiest Brat Packer:  Judd Nelson.

Sexiest Ghost:  Heath Ledger.

Sexiest Darcy:  Matthew Macfadyen. 

Boys, boys, boys

Since the year is coming to a close, and because it is only natural to want to look back at what was in terms of what will be, I decided to indulge my analytical mind but only if it would compromise and let me think about boys.  Because I do so love thinking about them and won't resist any excuse to do just that.

But instead of focusing on merely this past year, I have decided to look back on my entire life and see the conclusion of which I have so recently drawn.

True, I have only been in one serious relationship that lasted for about a year and a half, but I felt I learned a whole helluva lot from it.  There are certain qualities that I have consistently desired in a potential boyfriend - we have the usual trust, honesty, mutual respect, and support.  Then there are my preferences - a sense of humor, intelligence and wit, good teeth, tall...  The list goes on and on.

But the biggest quality I find I am very attracted to is ambition.  I like it when a guy knows what he wants and goes after it, who doesn't cheat himself of his full potential.  This, of course, can lead to arrogance or confidence depending on the guy, traits I don't generally mind unless he's a complete dick about himself.  But I digress.

Another important factor in my quote unquote Captain Charming (because I'm not fond of princes if I do say so myself) is definitely chemistry.  I'm sorry, but I need to be physically and emotionally attracted to a guy before I consider an actual relationship.  I don't care how that shallow it makes me sound, it's true.

I am proud to say that I've grown out of my whole bad boy phase (as every girl will... maybe) only because my patience will not allow me the time to indulge in their silly, ego-building games.  And I don't want a guy who's an excessive stoner/alcoholic.  Sorry, but I've had too many personal experiences with the type, and they've all ended in nothing short of misery.  I do want a guy who can make me laugh, but I find that if he thinks everything's a joke, I can't depend on him to console me, or even to take me seriously for that matter (especially because I know I can be hard to take seriously anyways).

Right now, I find I'm attracted to the brooding types.  This combines the mysteriousness of a bad boy, but makes him so much more interesting because he's so confident in himself that he doesn't need to brag about anything.  And I always find that those who say less have decidedly more interesting things to say than those who talk all the time.  Who knows if that will change in the future?  And maybe future experience will give me cause to reasses my priorities in what I'm looking for the guy once more.

But hey, experience is always appreciated.

I must conclude that, however, that accents will most certainly never go out of style.

Needles and the like

I hate needles.

I mean, I don't really mind all that much at getting a shot or anything like that, but I am strangely fascinated and yet horribly terrified of the needle actually piercing my flesh and then touching the insides of my body.  It's kind of like a car crash - I don't WANT to look, but my fatal sense of curiosity refuses to allow me to look away.

I had to take a blood test last year, and I was only consolable by a certain picture of Christian Bale from American Psycho.  The guy taking my blood asked why I had it, and when I explained, he chuckled, and we started talking about how amazing that movie was.

Then he removed one vial and started on another.  I was flummoxed!  TWO vials??  I wasn't a bloodbank and he wasn't a decidedly attractive vampire - why could he want TWO vials of my blood?  But I didn't ask.  Apparently, it was assumed that I knew they'd be taking two.  Pssh.  Whatever.

Surprisingly, however, I must admit that it didn't hurt TOO bad.

Tuesday, I have to go in to get my blood tested for some genetic heart thing.  I hope my John Cusack shirt arrives tomorrow.  Other than that, I'm fully prepared: I will be bringing my Johnny Depp bag with me, and of course, my Jane Austen collection.  Hopefully, they'll let me read while they invade my body with foreign and pointy objects.  At least that way, the prick of the needle can be easily imagined as Mr. Darcy getting a little caught up in the moment...

An anniversary to be proud of

Fictionpress.com, for those of you who are not aware, is a website that houses original fiction written by an author, or, in the likes of me, authoress.

I have been there for a year now, and I feel as though I have accomplished so much.

Number of Stories Completed:  8 archived, 13 total 
Number of Novels Completed:  1 archived
Number of Stories In-Progress:  3
Number of Novels In-Progress:  1
Number of Words Archived on the Site:  782,172 (and counting)
Number of Reviews:  5,292 (and counting)
Number of Stories Planned:  5
Number of Novels Planned:  7
Number of One-Shots (A story that is only one chapter - a story unto itself) Planned:  too many to count

I know it sounds somewhat arrogant, but I feel so accomplished.  When I first began posting, I was slightly wary, unsure of how people would respond to my quirky way of writing - if they would accept it at all - and I was pleasantly surprised.  The biggest lesson I have learned from Fictionpress is (however cheesy it may be) that if you believe in yourself and you work hard, you WILL be successful.  When I first started out, I barely got two reviews a chapter, but because I updated frequently and responded to every review, my stories' reviews continued to grow and grow until even I was surprised.  I'm still surprised!

And this is only my first year.  Imagine what next year will bring!

I know for sure, however, that when people ask if I have a job, I tell them:  "Yes.  I am a writer."  Because I am.  So what if I'm not getting paid for it?  I enjoy it, and in my definition of the word, I am successful.

Being Blonde

Yes, blondes definitely have more fun.  But I must confess that at certain times, it can get to be frustrating.  Not being blonde, of course, but at the lack of blondes as strong heroines in our books, television shows, and movies.  (I've left out music because blondes have always successfully dominated music.)

When I was a kid, my blonde heroes were as follows:

Kelly Bundy from Married... with Children:  Okay, so it's the typical blonde stereotype all rolled into one, but she knew how to get what she wanted (most of the time) and went after it.

Elle Woods from Legally Blonde:  This is probably the girl who I relate to the most.  She's from SoCal, bubbly and friendly to anyone, and also incredibly smart.  But because of how she spoke, how happy she always was, she was underestimated and not taken seriously.  But in the end, she triumphs.

Cher from Clueless:  The other girl I relate to the most.  She too was from SoCal, sweet (if a little self-absorbed), who used the word 'like' as often as she tried to set unsuspecting teachers up.  And she was smart too.  Underestimated too.  But she's firm in her beliefs, and ends up being with the guy who accepts her for everything she is.

Nat from Charlie's Angels:  I love her.  Like most blondes, she's bubbly and fun, but she's tough and can take care of herself.

But I don't see blondes portrayed that way anymore.  Maybe I just haven't seen any yet.  But let's look at television.  The biggest show is NCIS and they don't have a main blonde character.  Neither does House (Cameron totally doesn't count because she was brunette first) or Bones, my favorite shows.

And worst of all, I find it very hard finding a main blonde heroine in the literature I've been reading.  Nearly every vampire book has a brunette heroine, the Harry Potter trio consists of raven hair, red hair, and bushy brown hair.  Sophia Kinsella books all have different versions of mousy brown, to brunette (save for the Confessions series, but that's because she doesn't describe her main character.)  But I digress.  There are too many books to read to know for sure, but in my limited experience, finding a main blonde character who was the actual protagonist has been rare.

And don't get me started on how 'blonde' has become a word with a negative stigma attached.

Okay, so maybe I'm getting worked up over something silly, but it would be nice to see a strong blonde woman as the main character in a book or the star of a television show.  But for now, I'll be content watching Clueless and being underestimated.  At least being underestimated gives me the opportunity to prove everyone wrong.  And I always seem to do just that.     

Happiness et Moi

There are so many different definitions of happiness that I believe it's kind of subjective.  But I think it's a universal truth that happiness is something we humans long to find because we seem to want nothing more than to be happy.  Now, I'm not going to lecture you on whether material goods actually make a person happy.  Hell, every time I get a new book or the latest Johnny Depp movie on DVD I am completely content.  But different things make me happy at different times.  What I've come to realize is that happiness can be as simple as watching a sunset or as formulatic as being proposed to, and if you know yourself well enough, anyone can achieve happiness.  Even though possessions and people might make you happy, you need to be the one to depend on if the situation calls for it.

I'm sure you're all wondering what makes me happy, so I made you a Top 10 List even though, I can assure you, many, many things make me happy.

Top 10 Things That Make Heather Happy  (Oh, and by the way, this is in no particular order)

1)   Knowing that Johnny Depp is alive and breathing and happy makes me happy.  I know it's completely obvious on my behalf, but I don't care.  Sometimes, the most obvious things make us happy.

2)  Writing.  I love to write: poetry, stories, novels, and blogs.  I love it.  I love it enough to get up at five o'clock in the morning to write.  And I'm good at it.  I'm not trying to be arrogant, but out of subjects such as math, science, history, or talents such as singing, dancing, playing an instrument, I can write.  I feel like it's my job, but in the best sense of the word.  One of my dreams would be, of course, to get paid for it, but if that never happens, I'm happy knowing that I can write a pretty good story, and on top of that, making my avid readers happy makes me happy.  The best review I could get would be "I could totally relate to (insert heroine's name here)" or "I'm totally in love with (instert hero's name here)."

3)  When me and my brother listen to prank calls online, especially with Frank Garrett.  There are so many inside jokes we have, and it's something we can laugh about.

4)  When my favorite song of the moment comes on the radio just after changing the station.  I don't care if I have the CD; there's just something different - special - about a favorite song coming on the radio no matter how many times you listen to it.

5)  The smell of a new book.  There's really nothing more to say about that.

6)  Jumping in the puddles as it's raining.  The rain in general, since it's so rare here.  And, of course, the smell after the rain.

7)  Playing with my dogs out back, and watching them run up and down the yard.  Plus, they leave the cutest footprints behind.

8)  Being comfortable enough to be myself.  I mean, I'm always myself, but in certain cases, I have to make myself more conservative than I have to be - like in family situations.

9)  Pride & Prejudice.  The 2005 version, of course.  Especially the raining proposal number one scene, the proposal number two scene, and the very last scene.  And I think I can assure you that the book makes me happy as well.

10)  Memories with my Papa.  So many good ones.  Just thinking about some of the things he's done around Christmas makes me smile.  Good times.

11)  (Sorry, I had to add this in!)  The fireworks at Disneyland.  Unless you've experienced them for yourself, I really can't explain.  It just makes me feel as though I'm where everyone wants to be, and I'm so lucky to be here.  And that all my dreams really can come true, however impossible they seem.

So I guess what I'm saying is that everyone has the capability of making themselves happy.  I'm not saying you have to be happy all the time; I agree that sometimes it feels good to feel sad.  But when you want to be happy, you can.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with the DVD player, Kiera Knightly and Matthew Macfayden...

My Funeral

Okay, so this post might be slightly morbid, but I don't really care.

My family has experienced some death this past year, and for my twenty years, I've been to a handful of funerals.  Yes, they were all touching, and they were all probably what the people who passed might have wanted. 

But traditional funerals are definitely not my style.

Which is why I have composed a list (I love lists!) about what my funeral is going to have:

1)You're not allowed into the church unless you're wearing a costume.  Sorry, but Grieving Man or Stepford Wife won't get in, but Batman and 1920's flapper sure as hell will!  It would be like Halloween - Wouldn't it be funny if it was on Halloween?  Maybe not for those living, but for me, it would be.  I adore irony.

2)  Sorry pastors/priests/reverands/rabbis and the like, but I don't want some person who may belong to a house of worship but has no clue who I am to run this here shindig.  I'll probably have my brother run the thing.  And then each guest will have to stand up and yes, go to the front of the room, and say something about me.  It doesn't have to much, but just a memory would be cool.  Nothing sad though.

3)  The only hymn that will be sung is Disney's Candle on the Water.

4)  Pictures of things I love will be everywhere.  Which means lot and lots of Johnny Depp.  And, if I'm lucky enough, a picture of me and Johnny Depp will be floating around there somewhere.

5)  My mom (if she's still alive), if not, my husband (if I have one) will read a letter I leave behind to the audience.  But if they start crying, they have to take a shot!  Actually, if anyone starts crying, they have to take a shot of Captain Morgan (since he's a pirate).  (I'm kidding... kind of.)

6)  Before they trail over to the refreshment place, the audience will participate in the Time Warp.  And that's a wrap! 

-->  Okay, so that was the PUBLIC funeral.  My private funeral will go as follows:

1)  My ashes will be scattered across the Pacific Ocean (by way of Newport Beach) with Jack Sparrow's theme song (YOU know which one I'm talking about) playing.  No one should say anything.

I'm actually really looking forward to my funeral.  How fun it's going to be!  Too bad I can't actually be there at my own funeral.  Or can't I?

Edward Cullen has nothin' on Mr. Darcy

Okay, I admit, I haven't read Pride & Prejudice.  Yet.  (Barnes & Noble has sent it and it should be arriving shortly.)  But I've seen the 2005 film adaption with Kiera Knightly and Matthew Macfadyen as Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy enough times to know that I know what I'm talking about.

And let's face it; without Pride & Prejudice there would be no Twilight.

Sorry twihards and baby-boom mothers.  Instead of picking up a book about sexual repression and vegetarian vampires that sparkle (Oh yeah, totally masculine, and on top of that, the werewolves can't take a hint.), why not pick up classic literature that might actually teach you about healthy relationships between boys and girls?

I'll admit, I was like you.  (Actually, I never liked the Twilight series; my friends and I were yelling at the stupidity of the characters the entire time, and when we realized we had to read through Jacob's point of view, I almost threw my book against my wall.  Almost.  Because it wasn't my wall's fault that Stephanie Meyer can't write.  But I digress.)  But that gets old.  Seriously.

And Moms.  Shame on you for letting your kid pine for relationships like these!  A vampire who stares at his girlfriend while she's asleep, even going to the point of preventing her from leaving the house.  "Oh, but he's protecting me!"  Yeah, Bella is really someone I want my future daughter to look up to.  Or my cousins, for that matter.

Mr. Darcy is a gentleman who knows how to take care of a woman without having to take off his shirt to do so.  He gets protective but allows the woman to make up her own mind about a certain situation (I'm looking at you, Wickham!)  Plus, he's ruggedly handsome, someone you look at more because there's something interesting about his face.  And Elizabeth Bennet is relatable because she has faults and she has regrets, but they make her more endearing.  And she actually owns up to them.  Oh, and she doesn't need a man to make her happy.

So screw you Edward Cullen, and Jacob Back for that matter.  Because I might not have read Pride & Prejudice.  Yet.  But I don't need to in order to figure out that Mr. Darcy is more of a man than you will ever be.

The Importance of Travel

I was reading an article in the latest Cosmo about goals and how you should start writing down your goals because that reinforces just how important they are to you and will no doubt motivate you in order to attain them.  Now, if you know anything about me, you know that I'm ambitious (sometimes too much so), so I have many goals.

But above else, I want to travel everywhere.

See, I already have it planned.  If everything goes right, I'll be able to get all my credits in two years (I know; long time, right?  Well, I'm getting an AA, plus I didn't know what I wanted to major in so I have a bunch of credits that I might not need.  But I'm hoping to schedule an appointment with my counselor to see what they say.) - ending my time at junior college after a fall semester.  Graduation isn't until May, so I would have ample time to travel.  My first trip abroad, I want to explore Ireland (I swear I am going to have an actual drink in an authentic pub to pay homage to my roots!), Scotland, Wales, and England because I'm hoping to study over there.  So not only would I be traveling and taking in the sights and chatting up guys with accents, but I'd be scouting some campuses.  (My dream would be Oxford, but I'll take what I can get.)

In two years, hopefully I'll be able to save up some money to execute this goal of mine.  I'll be 22 years of age (which means I can drink if I choose to , plus 22 is young enough to have fun, but mature enough for something, though I have yet to find out what that is...), and I'll have an AA, which means no stressing about school.  I'm so looking forward to it!

And then if I do get to study abroad, I could go to other nearby countries on the weekends and stuff!

I'm so excited!  I know I need patience, but I think two years is a good time to start planning.

I feel as though I have the world at my fingertips...